There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
