Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
