i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
