So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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