you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
