I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
A bitchslap is in order.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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