She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
