I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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