you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
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