If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
