Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize