He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
