Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
there is glitter all over my balls
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