his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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