yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
