5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Randomize
