any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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