he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
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