Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
did you just send me my own nude
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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