Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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