I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
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Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
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Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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