he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
