While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Randomize
