Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Randomize