is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Randomize
