So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
