Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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