The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
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