Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Randomize
