apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
