It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
