How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
