So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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