wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
