What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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