this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
