I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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