Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
My liver is preforming stress tests.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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