Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Randomize
