Screwed.edu
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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