Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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