According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
