I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize
