make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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