So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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