Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
