I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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