The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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