Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
