Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
