For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
