The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Randomize