I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
