this just has baby written all over it
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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