and you said cock pushups were impossible
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
