so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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