erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
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