Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Randomize