it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
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when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
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I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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