Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
